Madchen
by ButterflyMiko
Summary: Kerstin Bayer, Momiji's cousin on his mother's side, has come to live on Sohma land through a deal with Akito. But as she falls for Yuki, can their relationship survive Akito's wrath?
1. Asthma

Kerstin's POV

"No one sits with him, he doesn't fit in,

But we feel like we do when we make fun of him…"

I played my music at top volume. I was pissed off. It was winter break and my Mom and Dad had gone off on a romantic walk and I was left by the RV alone.

I also felt selfish for thinking that. Immensly selfish.

I leaned back on the RV, pulling my wool sweater closer to my skin. Having short curly hair means that your ears freeze in the winter.

"It's not like you hate him or want him to die,

But maybe he goes home and thinks suicide,

Or he comes back to school with a gun at his side,

Any kindness from you might have saved his life..."

The music continued.

Around that time, I heard it. The sound of someone coming toward camp. I quickly turned off the music because Mom and Dad don't like hard rock or depressing songs.

"Hallo?" I said. "Mutti? Papa? Ist dass Sie?"

"My my, what is this?" A tall Japanese man in a kimono was standing in our campsite. He had straight black hair that was quite possibly longer than mine.

"Oh…I'm sorry," I said, switching to Japanese and bowing. "I'm Kerstin Bayer. You must be Sohmas who live on this land."

As I said this, an orange haired boy and a silver haired boy appeared behind him.

"Yes," replied the eldest of the three. "I am Shigure Sohma, and this is Yuki and Kyo."

I smiled. "Pleased to meet you. I'm not related to the Sohma's, but Momiji Sohma is my cousin. His mother is my father's sister. We rented this land for a month. Well…I did. A Christmas present for my parents."

"Wait," The silver haired boy looked worried. "You spoke to Akito?"

I flinched slightly at the mention of that frightening man. "I-I…"

They were all staring at the bruise on my neck.

I turned and ran.

Yuki's POV

The first thing I remember about Kerstin was the music she was playing. It made me want to cry.

When she said she had asked Akito to rent a camping space, I knew instantly she had been hurt. But Akito had relented and allowed it. For some reason.

When she ran, Shigure looked at me.

"Well, that's it then," he said, and turned around.

"Whatever," Kyo said, following him, a scowl on his face. I hate him so much. No compassion for that girl whatsoever.

For some reason, that's when I started running. I should've known it was stupid, because of my asthma, but…her face. It reminded me of myself. I didn't want her to be alone.

Kerstin's POV

I turned and saw Yuki following.

"What are you doing? Go away!" I yelled.

He said nothing. He just followed.

Finally I tripped and fell. Yuki managed to catch my arm.

"Miss Bayer…" he gasped.

Suddenly my anger dissapatted. I recognized those wheezes. He had asthma. And he ran all the way here in the cold…I pulled my inhaler from my pocket.

"Yuki! Take my inhaler-have my inhaler! Please…take it," I pressed it into his hands. I felt tears form in my eyes.

He quickly puffed the inhaler twice. After a few moments, he was okay.

"That was all my fault…I shouldn't have run away," I berated myself. "You must think I'm such an idiot, running from a name like that."

He reached out and touched the bruise on my neck. "Miss Bayer…did he try to strangle you?"

I flinched. A single tear went down my cheek as I nodded.

"Being afraid doesn't mean you're weak, you know," he said, looking at me. "It means you're human."

I looked at him. He smiled back. It was a real smile.

"Thank you." I reached out to hug him, but then…he pushed me back.

"I-I'm sorry, Miss Bayer," he said finally.

I rested against a tree and looked at Yuki. "You…You're a member of the Chinese Zodiac, aren't you?"

Yuki's POV

I never thought she would know.

I was immediately taken back to what Akito said…

"Is it not strange for a boy to turn into a rat? If normal people knew your secret it would sicken them. They'd stay away from you."

Would Kerstin be sickened by me?

I took a step back. "Miss Bayer, I…"

Then I realized something. She was smiling. And not in a mocking way, but in a kind way.

"It's okay, don't worry!" she said. "Remember, my cousin Momiji is the rabbit! Which one are you?"

I was able to smile a little bit, but I still felt a blush creep across my cheeks as I answered. "I'm the Rat."

Kerstin's POV

"I guess it would be weird for me to ask if I could see," I said, sighing. "Are you okay? From before I mean. I was really…worried."

I was blushing now.

"I'm fine," Yuki replied. "The inhaler stopped the attack. Was that yours?"

I nodded. "I'm anemic and asthmatic."

Suddenly it started to pour down rain.

"Oh wow," I said, shivering.

"Miss Bayer!" Yuki looked concerned. "Let's get back to the RV. You might catch a cold."

I laughed. "What about you?"

Yuki shook his head. "I'll be fine."

He took my hand and lead me back to the RV. I turned to go, but then looked at him and said, "Goodbye Yuki, I hope to see you again soon."

He smiled and waved, walking back to his home in the rain.


	2. Cultural Festival

Kerstin's POV

"I can help the next customer in line, please," I said, smiling.

A girl around my age with long brown hair came up to the register. She was buying a LOT of rice.

"That's a lot of rice, ma'am," I said, scanning it.

"I know," she replied cheerfully. "Our class is opening up an onigiri stand. And I'm making some."

I smiled in return. "That sounds nice. A culture festival? I'm home-schooled, so I've never been to one."

"Oh that's terrible!" the girl said. "It's tomorrow, would you like to come?"

"Sure," I replied. "Here's your bag."

She took the bag. "My name's Tohru. Tohru Honda. Here's a flyer for the festival."

She handed me a flyer. I looked at her. "My name's Kerstin Bayer. You go to Kaibara Public High School? Sounds cool. I can't wait. See you then."

"Bye!"

Still Kerstin's POV

I stood in front of the big room. Tohru waved at me from one corner. I walked over.

"Hi," I said. "So, do you always invite random cashiers to school events?"

"Um, no, I just thought, since you've never been to one before…" she stammered.

I put a hand on her shoulder. "Relax. I was just kidding. I'd love to go to school like you."

I looked around. The onigiri stand looked pretty good, and there was a crowd around one corner.

"What's that crowd for? Are your rice balls that good?" I asked.

"Well…maybe you should see for yourself," Tohru replied.

I pushed through the crowd and that's when I saw…Yuki. In a dress. And he looked extremely unhappy.

"Yuki Sohma!" I yelled.

He turned and looked at me.

Why did I say that? I wondered, panicking. I should make something up. Right now.

"The…principal wants to see you. Right now," I replied, trying to look like I didn't know him. "Come on."

I grabbed his hand and dragged him out into the hallway. After that, I immediately let go.

"I'm sorry, okay," I said. "I just couldn't stand to see you that upset."

"Miss Bayer…thank you," he said, looking at me. "That…It was humiliating. I can't believe…"

"Then why did you-" I began.

"I promised the senior girls," he replied, looking down.

"Yuki…you are very kind to do something like this," I said. "More…selfless than I am."

"I don't know about that," Yuki replied, meeting my eyes finally.

"We should probably get back to the festival. Unless you don't want to…" I said.

"No," Yuki said. "I need to go back."

When we arrived, Momiji and Hatori were there.

"Momiji!" I yelled. "Du hast mir gefehlt!"

"You know him?" Tohru asked.

"He's my cousin, Momiji Sohma," I replied.

Suddenly Hatori's eyes fell on me. Suddenly my bruise felt very visible. I backed out of the room, but stopped when Hatori said to Yuki, "Yuki, when did you become a woman?"

I was about to step in but Yuki had it covered.

"How dare you say that after you've seen me naked so many times?"

Of course, that caused the girls to panic, but Yuki assured them that Hatori was his doctor. Apparantly he didn't go to his monthly check-ups. I could understand him not wanting to go to the main house.

Hatori gave Yuki a quick check-up and then looked at Tohru. "You really are a normal girl."

Momiji was climbing on the booth again. Kyo started to yell at him, and Tohru went to help out.

Yuki turned to Hatori. "Why did you come here?"

"If you've got a problem with it, tell Momiji," replied Hatori. "He's the one who brought the flyer."

I snickered. "Natürlich. He's been talking about Tohru Honda all week."

"I'd forgotten that you were here, Kerstin," Hatori said. "Akito has been asking about you."

Yuki's eyes narrowed.

"You know it is unwise to go this long without seeing him," Hatori said. "He might make you move off that land."

I nodded, swallowing hard. "I understand."

"Miss Bayer-" Yuki began.

Hatori cut him off. "Yuki, when Akito saw the flyer, he said he was going to come too. "

I looked up.

"What?" Yuki and I said at the same time.

"He had a fever of 102 though, so as his doctor I put a stop to it," continued Hatori. "But I had to come in his place as Momiji's chaperone. I would've rather come some evening when there weren't so many people around."

Yuki's face snapped toward's Hatori's. He looked worried and angry.

"Don't worry," Hatori said. "I didn't come here to do anything to Tohru Honda. Or you, Kerstin. Akito is the one who makes that decision. However, I will say this—you won't get that far if you try to threaten me in that outfit."

"Hatori!" I said indignatly.

"It's fine, Miss Bayer," Yuki sighed. "I'm used to it."

Suddenly there was the explosion of someone changing into an animal.

"Momiji! Verdammt!" I exclaimed. A crowd began to gather.

"Something weird happened!" someone said.

"Weird?" Yuki suddenly said, putting on a sad act. "In that case, I too, am weird. Because I am dressed like this, and you're all going on about rabbits. It must not suit me at all."

"Oh man…" I muttered as the class gushed over him.

"Damn idiot!" Kyo said. "Does he even know what he's doing? He won't be able to hold his head up for a week."

"But…But…They're scary Tohruuu," Momiji whined.

I giggled. "Momiji, you can be such a baby some times."

"Kerstin! You're here too?" Momiji hopped onto my shoulder. "I missed you!"

"So you're the rabbit," Tohru said.

"Seriously, you're lucky Yuki threw them off," Hatori said.

"He's always trying to steal the spotlight with his looks," Kyo said. "I don't care what he says, I think Yuki likes—"

Yuki knocked him into the air. "Want me to send you higher?"

I gasped.

"Damn rat…" Kyo replied.

Yuki leaned down. "Momiji, you have to be careful."

"You need to think about repurcussions, Momiji," Hatori said. "Now, we had best be going."

"But I want to stay with my cousin and Tohru!" whined Momiji.

"Momiji, don't whine," I said. "You should go on home. I'll come visit you during vacation. And maybe Tohru will come."

"Ok, ok!" replied Momiji.

There was a flash. "Akito told me to take a picture of you two. This is a great portrait. Later."

Hatori and Momiji left.

"HATORI!" yelled Kyo, chasing Hatori.

"My life is over…" Yuki said. "What will Akito say when he sees me in this outfit?"

He started to take it off.

"You'll catch cold!" Tohru said.

"Verdammt! Yuki, stop that!" I grabbed the dress and pulled it back over his head.

"What are you doing?" he asked. "I look like an idiot."

"So what?" I replied. "When I heard why you did that, I thought about how amazing that was. It doesn't matter how you look, right Tohru?"

Tohru nodded. "When Mom used to tell me I was cute…like they were telling Yuki, and I would be so happy because it meant she was saying 'I love you so much!'"

"She's right," I said. "I-I have to go."

I walked out of the room. I just couldn't watch their bond. I didn't understand why, but it burned me up inside.

"Miss Bayer?"

I turned around. It was Yuki. How did he always know when I was upset?

"What is it, Yuki?" I asked.

"I just wanted to see if you were okay," Yuki said.

"Paging Tohru Honda and Kerstin Bayer," said the intercom.

"Oh, I'd better go," I said, turning to leave. He caught my arm, however.

"You didn't answer me," he said. "You need to tell me when something's wrong. I can't read your mind."

"Yuki…I'm just being jealous of Tohru, that's all."

Yuki looked confused.. "Why would you be jealous of Miss Honda?"

"The bond you two share must be pretty special," I replied. "I gotta go."

Still Kerstin's POV

After a short walk , I arrived in the office. Hatori was sitting there. I shivered.

"Good to see you, Kerstin," Hatori said. "I just spoke to Tohru Honda. I will tell you the same thing I told her. I need you to come to the main house to see me on your next day off. Go with Tohru."

"It'll be fun, Kerstin!" Momiji said. "We can all hang out together!"

I smiled uncertainly. This would be interesting.

Yuki's POV

I stood there after Kerstin left in a sort of daze.

What had she meant…a bond between me and Tohru? And why would she be jealous?

I didn't understand why it upset me so much that she was upset.

I sighed. I went back to the festival.


	3. Hatori

I walked over to Shigure's house and knocked on the door.

Yuki opened it. "Yes—Miss Bayer?"

"I'm here to pick up Tohru," I said.

"Me?" Tohru asked. "But I—"

"That's right," I said. "We're going shopping, right Tohru?"

"Um…" Tohru began.

"Come on, it'll be fun," I said, pulling her along. "Wiedersehen Yuki!"

We left the house.

"I thought they'd never let us leave," I said. "I'm going to meet Hatori too. I thought we could go together. I just didn't want to tell them. Yuki seemed not to like Hatori much. I can't imagine why; he seems so kind."

"Well…um…" Tohru said. "Yuki said that the one to erase all of the memories…was Hatori."

"It's so grand," Tohru said.

"It's really not all that great, Tohru," I said, smiling at her worried expression. "Don't worry."

"Tohru! Kerstin!" Momiji shouted from the top of the the wall.

"Momiji, look out!" Tohru exclaimed.

"Ha ha," I laughed. "Don't worry about him Tohru, he climbs on things all the time."

"You're right on time!" Momiji said. "Come on in!"

He climbed down and opened the door. "Welcome to the Sohma estate."

I smiled at Tohru's awed look. "Calm down, Tohru. I'll make sure nothing bad happens."

I turned and saw Akito's shadow in a window. My smile froze on my face, but I shook it off quickly as we arrived in Hatori's office.

"I'm glad you're here," Hatori said. "Was it that long a trek?"

He was looking at Tohru. She was exhausted from nerves.

"N-No…" she said. "H-Hello. I'm sorry I didn't bring anything!"

"Don't worry about it," Hatori replied. "Momiji, get us something to drink."

"Should I go too, Hatori?" I asked nervously; Hatori's seriousness always made me nervous.

"No, Kerstin, I need to talk to you about this too," Hatori replied.

"Hatori you're a doctor, right?" Tohru said. "Don't you have an office at a hospital?"

"Ah? Oh. I don't work at a hospital," Hatori responded, sitting down on the couch while Momiji brought the drinks. "I'm the Sohma family doctor. I don't examine anyone outside the family. Well, half of it is taking care of Akito. You could say he specializes in getting sick."

I sighed. Not Akito again. For someone who specialized in getting sick, Akito sure could hit hard. I unconsciously rubbed my neck.

"It's quiet, isn't it?" Tohru said softly, standing and looking out the window.

"Today the people 'inside' are at the inner gate preparing for the New Year's celebration," Momiji replied. "New Year's is the biggest event of the year! Even 'outside' people help. Everyone's really busy. Remember that tree-lined road you took to the Main House? All the people who live along that are Sohmas. Outside there's about ein hundert…one hundred people. "Inside" there should be about fifty."

"That's amazing!" Tohru exclaimed.

"It is?" Momiji asked.

I laughed. "Of course. Tohru, 'inside' people are those of the zodiac and those who know the secret. Most members of the zodiac lived 'inside' at one point, right Momiji?"

"Ja!" Momiji replied.

"Turning it around," Hatori said. "That means there are very few people who know about the secret, even inside the family. Kerstin, when you found out, I was surprised Akito didn't give the order to suppress your memory. And Tohru, it's unthinkable that a complete stranger like you should know the secret. Normally I would have suppressed both of your memories immediately after you found out. I've been thinking about the reason Akito has allowed you to stay on Sohma land and know our secret…and I've come to a conclusion."

"Conclusion?" Tohru and I said simultaneously.

"Do you two enjoy living on Sohma land?" Hatori asked.

"Yes! Very much!" Tohru answered.

"My family is enjoying their vacation, thank you," I said.

"I think it's best that you two leave," Hatori said. "Do not involve yourself with the Sohma family anymore. I'm sure Shigure didn't make clear the gravity of the situation. The Sohma family continues to be possessed by vengeful spirits. It's not the fun and games you may think. It's bizarre…sinister…cursed."

With the final word, he locked eyes with each of us.

I looked away from him.

"Before you two regret getting involved with the Sohma…get out," Hatori said. "Akito is trying to use you. And whatever deal you've struck with Akito, Kerstin, end it."

The phone rang. "Wait here," Hatori said. "I'll be just a moment."

I just sat there, looking out the window. He couldn't understand my deal with Akito. My family needed this vacation. It didn't matter what I had to do to get it for them.

"About Ha'ri," Momiji said, interrupting my thoughts. "He's almost blind in his left eye."

"Eh?" Tohru said in confusion.

I continued to look away but listened all the same.

"Ha'ri used to have a girlfriend," Momiji continued. "Her name was Kana. She was his assistant. She was a very sweet person. Even when she found out Ha'ri was possessed by a vengeful spirit, she laughed and said she didn't care. They were engaged to be married. But…Akito got mad. He got really mad and went into a rage. He wouldn't allow their marriage. And he hurt Ha'ri's eye. But Ha'ri didn't blame Akito. Instead, Kana blamed herself. She kept agonizing, saying it was her fault Ha'ri's eye got hurt. She eventually got heartsick. So…Ha'ri erased Kana's memories. He couldn't watch her fall apart. So he erased the time when they loved each other. Kana left…poor Ha'ri…He cried…but he didn't blame Akito."

"Why?" Tohru and I said at the same time.

"Why doesn't anyone ever blame Akito?" I asked angrily.

"Because that…is part of the curse," Momiji replied. "That's why…I don't know what Akito was thinking, but I understand a little how Ha'ri feels. Ha'ri doesn't want to send you two away like Kana. He doesn't want Tohru and Kerstin to be hurt like Kana was."

Tears started to fall down my cheeks. Tohru was crying as well.

"Huh?" Momiji said. "Eh? Are you crying?"

Momiji rushed over to our sides. "Did I make you two cry? Sorry…I'm sorry."

"No…" I wiped my eyes. "That's why he didn't smile a few Christmases ago when I came to visit…poor Hatori…and he was trying to help us, and I thought he had bad intentions."

"S-so did I," Tohru said. "H-He is…too kind a person. I'm glad. I'm just so glad I got to meet everyone. Even if I am being used for some purpose, I want to say thank you."

I looked at her. Sitting next to her…I felt so dirty. What I was doing to stay on Sohma land…I could end up ruining things for her at that house.

"What about me?" Momiji said to Tohru. "Are you happy you met me?"

"Of course!" Tohru said.

"Who wouldn't be?" I smiled.

Momiji smiled. "Tohru is like a mutti-she makes me feel safe!"

"It's all right," Shigure said, coming up behind Hatori. "We didn't get you involved with our mess intending to hurt you, Tohru. And we're not using you."

My eyes narrowed. Akito was using her. Why was Shigure lying?

"Shigure?" Tohru exclaimed.

"Anyway, Hatori exaggerates," continued Shigure. "And Kerstin…you here to see Akito? He's been asking about you again. I went to see him and was shooed away, but Akito says you'd better come for New Year's. "

I nodded quietly and stood. "Tohru, I'd better get home. Will you be okay with this weirdo?"

"Hey! I'm not that weird!" Shigure protested.

"I'll be fine," Tohru said, standing and bowing to me. "Thank you for coming with me."

I smiled at her politeness. "See ya."

I waved and left.

Tohru's POV

"Thank you so much for worrying about me, Hatori," I said to him. He really was…very kind.

Then, he placed a camera on my head. "Here. I'm giving this to you before I forget. It's the camera I used at the festival."

"Eh? Why?" I exclaimed, thouroughly confused.

"Why…?" Hatori responded. "Wasn't that the agreement? That if you came here, I would give you the camera?"

He never said that!

Shigure then started to pester Hatori about what was on the camera, and Hatori wouldn't tell him anything.

They're both so stubborn, they're almost alike… I thought.

"It's too bad you didn't get to meet Akito today," Hatori said.

"Please don't worry about it," I replied. "More importantly, Hatori, you're one of the Chinese Zodiac, right? Which year are you?"

There was a tense silence. Had I said something wrong?

"That's a great question, Tohru!" Shigure said, smiling. "Oh wow. This is really going to be goo-"

"Shigure," Hatori said angrily. "I will tell everyone in the publishing industry everything I know about you starting from when you were four years old."

"Sorry Tohru," Shigure said. "My lips are sealed."

"You know she's going to find out someday!" Momiji said.

"And you," Hatori said. "Stop asking stupid questions!"

"Y-Yes sir," Momiji replied.

Was there a funny zodiac sign? I wondered.

"I'm sorry about today," Hatori said. "I kept making you cry, didn't I?"

"Kerstin cried too…" I said.

Hatori's face hardened. "Maybe she needs to cry. She could stand to feel a human emotion or two."

What was going on? I thought, confused. Did this have something to do with the deal Kerstin made with Akito?

"That Hatori," Shigure said on our way back. "Calling you out here and causing trouble. But he's not a bad guy, really."

"Yes…" I replied. "He seems like a very kind person."

I turned and saw someone in a window. Could it be….Akito?

"Tohru! If we get separated, you'll get lost," Shigure said.

"Shigure," I said softly. "What is 'the curse?' Do I have to do anything?"

Shigure smiled. "You just need to be you. As for the rest I think it's still too early to tell you. I'm sorry. "

"And…what about Kerstin?" I asked.

Shigure looked startled. "What about her?"

"Hatori seemed angry with her, and you both mentioned a deal…" I continued. "What is this deal?"

"I think…you should ask Kerstin yourself," Shigure said.

Kerstin's POV

There was a knock at the door.

"Mutti! Kann man, dass?" I asked, perusing the internet for more music.*

My mom opened the door. "Guten Abend! Are you a friend of Kerstin?"

"Yes," Yuki's voice came through. "Are you her mother?"

"Ja!" replied my mom. "You can call me Tante Klara. What is your name?"

"Yuki Sohma," Yuki stepped back and bowed. "It's nice to meet you, Tante Klara. May I see Miss Bayer?"

"Just a moment," replied my mom. "Kerstin!"

I closed my laptop. "Ich will nicht gehen. Sag ihm, ich bin nicht hier."**

"Kerstin," my mom looked at me. "Jetzt."***

I sighed and stepped outside. "Mutti, Yuki and I are going for a walk. We'll see you later."

My mom nodded and went inside.

Yuki stared at me. "Miss Bayer? Did I do something to offend you?"

"What?" I turned red, embarrassed. "No...no. I just wanted to go for a walk. That okay? Why are you here…it's kind of random."

"I'm here because…I wanted to thank you for befriending Miss Honda," Yuki said.

"Huh?" I stopped walking. "What do you mean? She has friends."

"But no other…girls that know the secret of the zodiac, and are on the outside like her," Yuki said.

I nodded. "That's true. You really love Tohru, don't you?"

Yuki's POV

I understood finally what people meant when they said I never truly smile. The smile on Kerstin's face was fake.

"I-I…what do you mean by that?" I said to her.

"I mean…you're protective of her and you care a lot about her," Kerstin said. "What did you think I meant?"

I was silent.

"Oh…" Kerstin laughed a little. "Sorry…sometimes my Japanese is a little…never mind."

The sun began to set.

"Yuki?" Kerstin said.

"Yes, Miss Bayer?" I replied.

"Are you going to…miss me at all?" Kerstin asked. "I know we haven't been friends long, but…"

I turned sharply and locked eyes with her. "Where are you going?"

"Oh!" she looked sad suddenly. "We're leaving after sanga-nichi. Straight from the Main House."

"You can't be serious," I said. "You're going back there? And then you're leaving?"

"I have to see Akito before I leave," Kerstin said. "What does it matter? If anything, my being here has made your lives harder."

"What? Miss Bayer, that's not—"

"See you New Year's, Yuki," she said, and ran back toward the RV.


	4. Faruba Christmas

I slapped down the alarm on my iPhone. It was Christmas Eve. But it was eight a.m. And yes, it was snowing. Hard.

I went outside, arms outstretched and laughing irrationally. The cold didn't register with my brain, and I spun around, catching snowflakes on every piece of exposed skin. Beautiful. Icy paradise.

It made me forget the argument I'd had with Yuki a week ago. Almost.

"Kerstin?" Momiji said in confusion. "I was just about to come knock on the door! But you're out here in your nightgown! Ha Ha, just like when we were little, richtig!*

He was genuinely happy and it was contagious. My smile widened. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to ask you…" He said, digging his foot into the snow. "Do you and Tante Klara and Onkel Clemens want to come to a Sohma winter house for Christmas? Tonight and tomorrow, cuz you'll get cold in this little RV during the blizzard!"

I smiled, and patted him on the head. "I'd love to, Momiji."

"Yay!" He jumped in the air in excitement.

"Okay time to go inside, I'm getting cold," I said.

"Wait!" Momiji said. "I'll be back to pick you all up with Hatori at twelve."

I smiled. "Okay!"

"We're here!" Momiji said. "Open your eyes!"

I took my hands off my eyes. Momiji wanted it to be a surprise.

"It's beautiful!" The house was covered in white Christmas lights.

Momiji opened the door and inside was decorated beautifully. The light was turned on and Tohru came up to me. "Surprise!"

"W-What?" I said.

Yuki, Shigure, and Kyo came out from the back rooms. Yuki and Shigure were smiling, but Kyo looked a little annoyed.

"I wanted you to have a great Christmas!" Momiji said. "With family, and friends, too!"

Tohru dropped her dishtowel on the ground and smiled at me. "I made Christmas Cake!"*

"Great!" I exclaimed, and started to run after Momiji to the kitchen, but slipped on the dishtowel and ran into Yuki.

"Ah—" He began, but there was a poof, and he turned into a rat.

I fell forward and hit my head, knocking me out.

Yuki's POV

I changed back quicker than usual, and changed clothes in a side room, then rushed back to where Kerstin was lying, now on the couch.

Hatori was leaning over her, checking her vitals.

"She's breathing fine, and she doesn't have a concussion," he said. "All we can do is wait for her to wake up."

I exhaled, surprising myself. I had no idea that I had been holding my breath.

Kerstin's eyes opened. "Yuki! Are you alright? Did I fall on you?"

I blinked. She had just gotten knocked out, and she was asking me if I was alright?

"I'm fine, Miss Bayer," I said. "You're the one who got hit on the head."

Tohru appeared with an icepack. "Here you go, Kerstin!"

Kerstin put it to her head. "I can't believe I slipped. I'm so clumsy."

"It appears we should have checked the floor for dishtowels when you walked in," Shigure joked.

I glared at him, then looked back down at Kerstin. "Ignore him, Miss Bayer."

Kerstin nodded to me, then got up and smiled. "Thank you all so much for this party!"

She hugged Tohru and we all gathered around for Christmas cake. But all the time…I could tell something was wrong. Kerstin looked worried. She watched where she stepped more.

Had I really disgusted her with my zodiac form? Was that why she was being so…careful? Was it even my place to ask?

Kerstin's POV

I walked down the hallway. Everyone had gone to bed. I was headed for my room when- BAM!- I ran smack into Yuki.

I didn't cause him to transform, thankfully.

"Miss Bayer!" he said, surprised.

I stepped back. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you! I mean…I just…I wasn't looking. I'm sorry."

"It's fine," he said. "But…is something wrong? If this is about before…"

I grabbed his wrist and pulled him into my room. "Sorry, this is a little weird, but...I want to explain myself and I don't want Momiji to hear."

Yuki sat down next to me. "What is it?"

"It isn't your fault," I said. "I was just clumsy and slipped. After that, I was afraid you were mad, so I tried to be extra-careful so I wouldn't make you or anyone else transform. I just…wanted this night to be perfect."

"We're your friends, Miss Bayer," Yuki said. "We wouldn't mind if you slipped or messed up. As long as you had a good time."

"Thanks, Yuki," I said. "But there's something else. I want Christmas to be perfect…for my parents. When Momiji was five years old, his mother wanted to get her memories of him erased. I was six then, and I was furious with my aunt. I yelled at her. I said she didn't have the right, and…other things. That's when…I met Akito. Akito told me that if I didn't stop and move away with my family then our memories would be erased as well. Mutti cried every year around the holidays. She didn't like being estranged from the family. So I did what I had to do. I struck a deal with Akito to come home for Christmas and New Years."

"You did what?" Yuki was leaning on the edge of the bed, eyes wide. "You have to end it."

"Yuki…I can't. I'm sorry," I said. "I had to do it. For my family. If someone you cared about was hurting, wouldn't you do whatever you could to stop it?"

Yuki looked down. "I guess you're right. But I don't think you should face Akito alone."

"Yuki...I'm not bringing anyone down with me...I've already caused enough trouble," I said. "I wish I could tell you...but I can't. I'm sorry. Good night."

"Merry Christmas, Miss Bayer," Yuki said softly, standing and leaving the room.

"Frohe Weihnachten, Yuki..." I said, and fell asleep.


	5. New Years

Tohru's POV

"We're not going back!" Yuki and Kyo said at the same time.

We were sitting around the table.

"You think someone who left home four months ago would go back just because it's New Years?" Kyo exclaimed.

"If I went home to attend a banquet, there'd be no point in having left," Yuki said disdainfully.

"We're not going back!" They repeated adamantly.

"Dear oh dear…" Shigure said.

"What's wrong?" I asked. I had barely been paying attention. "You seem to have been arguing for a while."

"Listen, Tohru!" Shigure whined. "They say they won't go back to the Sohma Estate for New Years!"

"You're too old to be tattling!" Kyo said, annoyed.

"You're not going home?" I asked. "But Momiji said that the New Year's festivities are a major event for the Sohma family."

"Indeed, it's the biggest event of the year for us," replied Shigure, holding up one finger. "The whole family comes and celebrates. And the most important part is the Juunishi banquet. The banquet can only be attended by those possessed by the spirits of the Chinese Zodiac. The Zodiac members representing the New Year and the Old Year dance together. This year it will be Momiji and the Tiger. Yuki's dance three years ago was beautiful."

Yuki threw chopsticks at Shigure. "Don't tell her about that!"

"It must be wonderful!" I exclaimed, clasping my hands together. "A banquet. Just like the legend!"

"Hmph," Kyo said, still eating. "It's got nothing to do with me. The Cat can't go to the banquet."

"Why?" I asked.

"It was decided long ago that the Cat couldn't come," Shigure replied, biting into some food. "I guess that's just like the legend too."

"But…" I said softly, sadly.

"Look it's no big deal," Kyo said. "So you don't need to go and make that face. I'm not saying I won't go home just because of some stupid banquet."

Shigure leaned over and whispered to me, "It's because if he went back, Kagura would be so moved that she'd kill him."

"Shut up!" Kyo yelled.

"Never mind that," Yuki laid his chopsticks down. "If we go back to the Sohmas, we'll have to spend the three days of sanga-nichi there, right? During that time, Miss Honda would be left all alone."

"Huh?" Kyo said. "You're not going to your Grandpa's house?"

"Tohru's grandfather and the rest of them are gong to Hawaii," replied Shigure. "So she asked me to let her stay here for New Year's."

"What?" Kyo exclaimed. "You're going to be alone for New Year's?"

"That's what I just said!" Yuki said angrily.

"Shut up!" Kyo replied, equally angry. "This is the first time I heard about it."

"That's because you don't listen," Yuki said quietly, still annoyed.

"Oh, you two," Shigure laughed.

"Thank you for thinking of me," I said gratefully. "Somehow that…fills my heart with joy! But I'd feel terrible if you missed out on such a wonderful celebration on my account. And it's been a while since you've seen your parents, right?"

Yuki and Kyo turned and looked at me.

"I'm sure they're anxious for you to come home," I continued. "Please, go enjoy the New Year with your family. You can leave the house to me while you're away! I'll make sure to take…good care of…I left the bathwater running!"

I ran to turn off the bathwater. I got there just in time.

Yuki's POV

"Please be safe," Tohru said. "Watch out for crowds."

"It's okay, there aren't many people out now," replied Shigure.

"And you be careful too, Miss Honda," I said. "Be sure to lock up."

"I will!" she said, smiling. "Have a safe trip!"

I'm sure she'll be fine, I thought. She'll be fine.

"This one time…She left her window wide open," Kyo said.

"Don't tell me you went in?" I replied disdainfully.

"Like I'd do that!" Kyo exclaimed. "I saw it from the outside."

"Miss Honda is pretty careless," I said. "She fell down the stairs again yesterday."

"She even walks into walls," Kyo replied.

"She could choke on a grain of rice for all we know," I said.

"That's not funny," Kyo replied.

"You guys," Shigure said, eyes narrowed. "Stop fussing over her like mother hens."

"Huh?" we both said at once.

"I know you're worried about Tohru," Shigure said. "But you decided to come with me, so—"

"I-I'm not worried!" Kyo yelled.

"This worrying is stupid," I said. "Let's go."

Kerstin's POV

I woke up to the sound of voices coming through the woods.

I looked through the window and saw Shigure, Yuki, and Kyo, probably on their way to the Main House for New Years.

Wait a second, I thought. Where's Tohru? They better not have left her alone!

I dressed quickly and got to the road before they did.

"glückliches neues Jahr!" I exclaimed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kyo asked.

"Happy New Year, silly!" I replied. "You all headed to the Main House?"

"Yes, Miss Bayer," Yuki said. He sounded frustrated. He must've been fighting with Kyo again.

"So…" I said as we started walking. "Where's Tohru? With family?"

Yuki and Kyo looked at me guiltily.

"You didn't leave her alone, did you?" I exclaimed. "Verdammt! You two! I expect as much from Shigure, cuz he's a creeper, but I thought you cared about Tohru! And you left her alone? And…and…oh, I just don't trust myself to talk without screaming!"

They stepped back, looking frightened. Shigure just looked amused. "Creeper?"

"Miss Bayer…Miss Honda told us to spend time with our families," replied Yuki.

"Yuki…" I sighed. "People…like Tohru, who only think of others, may say things like that, because they don't want you to worry about them. But truly, I would imagine she is at home crying alone. At least, that's how I would feel. I'd never cry in front of the ones I cared about; I wouldn't want them to worry. That's why…I feel bad for Tohru. If Akito hadn't summoned me, I would go back myself."

Bam! Yuki and Kyo smacked into each other.

"What are you two doing?" Shigure asked.

"What's with you?" exclaimed Kyo, clutching his head. "I thought you were in a hurry to see your beloved Akito!"

"What about you?" responded Yuki, hand on his cheek. "Wouldn't want to keep your darling Kagura waiting."

"Why don't I wrap her up and give her to you!" yelled Kyo.

I rolled my eyes.

"And I'll give you Akito," replied Yuki.

"I don't want 'im!" Kyo yelled back.

"Hey you two, where are you going?" Shigure asked.

Yuki and Kyo turned and replied, "We're going home!"

I did a little yes dance in my head.

"Did you plan that?" Shigure asked me.

"Yes," I said honestly. "Today is my birthday. I'll consider it a present from you if you keep this deception between us, Shigure."

"But why did you do it?" Shigure asked. "You barely know Tohru."

"Yeah, but I can't help but like her, ya know," I replied, smiling. "She's just got that kind of spirit. And I know she helped out a lot with Christmas."

Kerstin's POV

It was the first day of sanga-nichi. I was home, resting in bed. I had told my parents that I'd fallen down a flight of stairs and that was the reason for the bruises and the twelve stitches in my forehead.

There was a knock at the door.

"Papa!" I called.

My dad got the door.

"Guten Morgen, Yuki," my dad said. "Are you here to see Kerstin? She can't leave her bed right now, but you can come in."

Yuki bent his head and entered the RV. My dad left, offering me no back-up.

Sure, Papa, I thought. Now you leave me alone with a boy.

"Miss Bayer! Your head!" Yuki stepped forward and touched the stitches.

"It was Akito," I said. "But don't worry, Hatori patched me up."

"Why does he get so angry with you?" Yuki asked. "You aren't a member of the Zodiac."

"Yes but I'm involved," I replied. "And I believe it was Shigure who let it slip that I was the one who convinced the two of you to skip out on New Year's."

Yuki narrowed his eyes. "That was our decision and he knows it."

"Hey, never mind," I said, sitting up. "That's not why you came, right?"

"No," Yuki admitted. "I came because I missed your birthday."

I smiled slightly. "How did you find out?"

"I went to the Main House to say hello to everyone," Yuki said. "And Shigure told me you went home to celebrate your birthday with your family."

"He sure has a problem keeping his mouth shut," I muttered.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked, looking at me intently.

"Because I wanted you to go home to Tohru," I replied honestly. "That's where both of you belong. She's good for you. You are…very lucky to have such a wonderful girl staying with you."

"Miss Bayer…" Yuki said. "What you did was very kind."

"It was just payback for the wonderful Christmas she and Momiji made for me," I replied.

"I…got you something," Yuki said. "For your birthday."

I turned red. "Yuki, you didn't have to, I mean…"

"Hey," he put a hand on my shoulder. "I want to."

He handed me a small box. I opened it up and inside was a small charm bracelet with just the charm of a snowflake on it.

I slipped it on my wrist.

"Yuki…it's beautiful," I said. "But how did you know…about snowlakes?"

"Momiji," he replied. "So you like it then?"

I nodded. "Thank you."

"Kerstin," my dad came in. "I think Yuki should let you sleep now."

Yuki bowed to my dad and said bye to me, then left the room.

"Before you go to sleep," Papa said. "You have a call from the Sohma Main House."

I picked up the phone.

"Hello, Kerstin," Hatori said. "Sanga-nichi ends tomorrow."

I sighed. "I know."

"Akito will try to get you to stay," Hatori said. "I think you should leave while you still can. This whole idea was foolish and you know it. Leave before someone you care about gets hurt. Think of Yuki and Tohru and the others. Do you want them to take the fall for you?"

I sighed again. "Hatori. I know. You're right. And I've been planning on leaving. I just…let me say goodbye first, okay? I'll be gone before Akito has time to send for me again."

"Good," Hatori replied. "And one more thing…about New Year's."

"Yes?" I said.

"It was noble, what you did, but it got you hurt," Hatori said. "And Yuki and Kyo are in trouble with Akito now. Your actions have consequences. Be more careful."

"Yes, I understand," I replied. "And thank you for worrying about me…even though you don't like me all that much. Wiedersehen."

I hung up.

I was wrong to think this fairy tale would last forever.


	6. Goodbye

I walked slowly to Shigure's house, eyes downcast all the way. My eyes were wet with tears, and I probably looked a mess, as I hadn't slept.

I hiccuped, and knocked on the door.

"Hello?" Tohru said, opening the door. "Oh! Kerstin! Are you alright? Here-I have a tissue!"

She pulled a tissue from her apron pocket and wiped my eyes. I was startled. She was...quite the mothering type.

"I'm so sorry, Tohru!" I exclaimed, hugging her.

"What's going on?" Yuki asked, entering the room. "Miss Bayer? What is it? What's wrong?"

"It's my own fault," I said. "I should have never pretended that I could be anything more than a member of the 'outside.'"

"Miss Bayer, that's not-" Yuki began.

"No," I said. "I have to go. I have to."

Yuki caught my arm and spun me around. "Stop. Wait a second. Let me talk before you run off again."

"I'm trying to stop Akito," I finally admitted.

Yuki's eyes narrowed. "None of us can do that."

I clenched my fists, tears pouring down my face.

"Kerstin..." Tohru said hesitantly. "Is this about the deal you made with Akito?"

I paused, and nodded. "I said I would be a spy for him if I could have land to camp on for three weeks."

Yuki released me like I was poisonous. Even Tohru stepped back.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I'm leaving because if I were to stay, then

Akito would make me continue to report on your doings. I guess I could just continue saying what he wants to hear...but..."

I turned, sadly. "Weidersehen."

I walked back to the RV, and started packing.

"Did you really think I'd just let you leave like that?" Yuki asked from behind me.

I jumped. "Y-Yuki..." I dropped the t-shirt I had been folding.

He pushed off of the wall. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's fine," I said. "Just yell at me or whatever. I understand. I'm a facade. A big lie. And you probably hate me."

"Miss Bayer...I can't go against Akito either," he replied. It's nothing to be so ashamed of. Do you want to stay with us?"

I lowered my head, feeling my shoulders shake with sobs. "Ja...yes..."


	7. Endurance Run

"You think you can always keep that smug look?" Kyo yelled at Yuki. I was watching from inside the store, although I was pretty sure they didn't know I worked there. "One of these days I'll wipe that smirk right off! One day, I'll make you say you're sorry…"

"I'm sorry," Yuki responded.

I burst out laughing.

"What's so funny, Kerstin?" Tohru asked.

"N-Nothing, Tohru," I replied. "Here are your bags. Tell the boys I'll be home soon."

Hmm…I thought. Yuki seems pissed off today. I wonder why.

"Yo, Rika!" I called to my boss. "I have to take off now…something came up."

I ran out the door and down the street.

I arrived just in time to see Yuki shove leeks into Kyo's mouth. I knew I shouldn't, but I laughed.

"S-Sorry, Kyo…but your expression was..." I stopped. Tohru was tending to Kyo, and Yuki had just coughed subtly, but I had seen it. "Yuki!"

He turned. "Miss Bayer…what is it?"

"I was just…I…you seemed upset," I said finally.

He looked surprised. "I…did?"

"You were getting mad more easily," I replied. "And…you just look…upset."

"W-Well I…" his face was turning red. "I don't feel very well, Miss Bayer."

We were back home by now. Tohru turned sharply. "Oh no! Do you have a fever?"

She felt his forehead. Yuki looked shocked by all the attention.

"Let's see…" Tohru said. "You do feel a little warm."

"Oh no! Yuki!" I panicked. "You can't get sick!"

He caught my arm before I could rush around in a panic. "It's all right. Calm down, Miss Bayer. Please, don't get so worked up on my account."

"B-But…" I said, but the look on his face told me it would be better if I kept quiet.

"It's important to nip a cold in the bud early on," Shigure said. "Take some medicine and go to bed early."

"Should he stay home from school tomorrow?" Tohru asked, worried.

"No," Yuki replied. "I'll be fine. It's not that far to walk."

"B-But tomorrow is the endurance run!" exclaimed Tohru.

"No," I said firmly. "You can't go run in the cold when you're sick. I have asthma too, ya know, and I wouldn't do that to myself."

"Miss Bayer, I—" Yuki began, but Kyo interrupted.

"Endurance run?" he said. He was wearing a short sleeved t-shirt and sweatpants—in the cold. "We're having an endurance run tomorrow?"

"Even I knew that," I said. "And tomorrow's my first day."

"Endurance run…marathon…running in a group…" Kyo said. "In other words…a battle! Tomorrow we'll see who's fastest!"

"Hey!" I yelled, standing up. "Yuki has a cold!"

"I don't give a damn about his health!" Kyo yelled back. "Damn rat should take better care of himself anyway! And you should stop sticking up for him!"

"Shut up! I'll do whatever I want!" I yelled. "You can't just make people do something if they don't want to."

"Miss Bayer!" Yuki was staring at me.

"What?" I turned.

"I want to go to school tomorrow," he said. "It's your first day. I want to be there with you."

I blushed. "I-I'm sorry, Yuki. I jumped in without really asking what you wanted. Just…get better, okay?"

Yuki silently took the cold medicine. "I'll do my best."

I looked at Yuki the next day. He looked really pale.

He came for me…I thought. I'm just causing him trouble again.

I left him with Tohru and went to the starting line.

Tohru met me a few minutes later and we met a girl in a black braid.

"Oh, y-yes, Kerstin, this is Saki Hanajima," Tohru said. "Hana, this is Kerstin Bayer, she lives with us now."

"Pleased to meet you," Hana said. "Any friend of Tohru's is a friend of mine."

I smiled. "Likewise."

"Today we have to run for Uo too," Tohru said. "Arisa Uotani is my other best friend. She's playing hooky today."

"I'm not much of a runner," Hana replied. "But I'll do my best."

"Okay!" Tohru exclaimed.

The gun went off, but almost immediately, Hana stopped running. "I can't run any farther. I have no choice but to walk the rest of the way. Please don't worry about me…I'll be right behind you…walking."

"Hana!" Tohru and I said at the same time.

The teacher started to yell at us, so Tohru and I ran off. Suddenly we saw someone with white hair on the side of the road.

"Tohru!" I said. "Is that an old man? Maybe he needs help! We should—"

But she was already on her way. I followed her. When he turned, however, his roots were black and he was young, maybe our age.

"I'm sorry!" Tohru said. "Y-You're hair is so white…I thought you were—"

"No, it was me," I said. "I'm the one who thought you were an old man. But…you look like a Sohma."

"I am Hatsuharu Sohma," he replied. "Do you know where the Sohmas live?"

"Yes," I replied. "I live with them. My name is Kerstin Bayer; I'm Momiji's cousin. This is Tohru Honda. She's lived with the Sohmas longer than me."

"Oh…you're Kerstin," Haru said. Sounded like he had heard of me. "Sounds like they're coming this way."

As Tohru and I watched, Haru pulled out a chord and pulled it over the road.

I realized too late what he was about to do. "Haru wai—"

Kyo tripped and fell flat on his face.

"Verdammt…" I muttered.

"Kyo! Are you okay?" exclaimed Tohru.

"Miss Honda? Miss Bayer?" Yuki said, stopping short of the string.

"What the hell did you do that for?" Kyo asked, pissed off. "Right when I had finally passed Yuki—"

"I had no choice," Haru responded calmly. "You wouldn't have stopped any other way."

"Haru…?" Kyo said in surprise.

"Doing this is very dangerous," Haru said. "Anyone other than Kyo would not get away with just a scrape…so please, don't try that at home."

"You shouldn't have tried it either!" yelled Kyo. "You could have killed me! Look at the blood!"

"So this time it's Haru?" Yuki said. "They just keep coming…shouldn't you be in school?"

"Wait a damn minute! Show a little concern!" yelled Kyo. "I'm bleeding, here!"

"Shut up…" I said, dropping my bag to the grass and unzipping it and pulling out a strip of gauze and some medical tape. "Bend down so I can reach you."

He looked shocked, but did as I said, and I taped up his little scrape.

"Next time…do me a favor," I said. "Just ask for what you want instead of screaming. We can't read your mind, you know. And there's no need to get so worked up over something easily fixable."

I sighed, and walked back over to Yuki and Tohru.

"-And this is Kerstin Bayer," said Yuki to Haru.

"Pleased to meet you," Haru bowed. I bowed as well, just to show respect, although I was unsure of what all the formalities meant.

"So what do you want?" Kyo asked Haru.

"A fight," Haru replied simply. "I wanted to challenge you at New Year's, but you skipped out. So I came to find you. Let's do it."

"W-Wait a minute!" Kyo exclaimed. "I'm in the middle of an important race!"

"But it took me three days to get here!" Haru replied.

"That's because you got lost!" Kyo replied.

"Forget it," Haru said. "Let's fight!"

Tohru looked worried. I was annoyed. Bad enough my first day Yuki was sick and I had to run, which I hate, by the way. Now Haru and Kyo were about to fight. They were just going to cause more trouble.

"This could be bad…" Yuki said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Hey Kyo?" Yuki said seriously. "I think you should just do what Haru wants…"

"Look! I said I won't—and I won't!" Kyo yelled. "Just go home—"

Bam! Kyo was hit in the back of the head with Haru's head.

"Too late…" Yuki said.

"What the—" I exclaimed.

"Blahdy blah blah!" yelled Haru. "Enough with your damn yapping! A real man answers any challenge. But then, you're just a kitten. Time to die!"

"No don't die!" exclaimed Tohru from the sidelines.

I sighed. More fighting.

"You…" Kyo began, but the rest of what he said was unintelligible as he kicked Haru in the face. "Dammit! What'd I ever do to you that you have to get in the way of my victory?"

"Great," Yuki said. "He's awakened Black Haru."

"Is Haru…bipolar…or multi-personality by any chance?" I asked in an off-hand way. "Cause he reminds me of someone."

"Sort of…" Yuki replied. "Wait-who does he remind you of?"

I shook my head. "Nope. No way am I telling you or anyone else about that. Anyway, what were you saying about Haru?"

"Well, normally Haru's a bit of a pushover, but once he's snapped, he becomes an unstoppable juggernaut," Yuki replied. "His relatives call his dark side 'Black Haru.'"

"Um…so does that mean he's the same type as Kagura?" Tohru asked.

"Don't just stand there watching, Yuki," Haru said, taking Yuki's chin in his hand. "Today you will be mine."

"What the hell did you just say?" I asked, eyes narrowed.

"What's your problem, you can come too," replied Haru. "I'll make sure you get all the benefits of it."

Yuki sent him flying before I could move. Haru got right back up again and continued his fight with Kyo.

"Miss Bayer, are you alright?" Yuki asked.

"No…I…did I really just…?" I trailed off. "That…hasn't happened in a long time. I didn't mean to lose it, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have provoked him like that."

"It's fine, Miss Bayer," Yuki said. "You could have just told me you had a Black side too.

Tohru was watching the fight. "Uh…um…"

"Leave them alone, Miss Honda," Yuki said. "Just let them fight it out. Besides…there's no way I'm getting in the middle of that."

He smiled, and I laughed, feeling a little better.

They kept fighting. After a little while, I turned to Yuki. "Are you…feeling any better? I didn't get to ask this morning…"

"I thought…" he coughed. "You were avoiding me."

"I wasn't—"

Suddenly I noticed that he had collapsed, and he was wheezing again. It was definitely an attack this time.

"Yuki!" I exclaimed. "Oh…this is my fault, it wasn't for me, you would be at home…" I grabbed my bag and fished for my inhaler, but the medicine part of the inhaler was completely empty.

Haru turned and came over. "Is it an attack?"

I nodded. "We have to get him out of this cold air."

Tohru gasped.

"You have to be more careful when you've got a cold," Haru said, getting Yuki to lie down. "I'll call the Main House."

"NO!" I yelled, at the same time as Yuki grabbed Haru's ankle. He fell back weakly, clutching his chest.

Tohru got Haru's jacket, and handed it to me. I felt myself start to cry. "Yuki…I'm sorry…"

"You don't want me to call the Main House, do you, Yuki?" Haru said. "Hmm…neither does Kerstin. Is it okay if we postpone our fight, Kyo?"

"Huh…oh," Kyo said. "Sheesh. I guess we have to postpone the race too. What an idiot, getting done in by a cold."

"Shut up, Kyo," I said.

"Why should I listen to you?" he asked.

"I patched up your forehead," I said. "Now be quiet."

There was a silence.

"Well…should we go to Sensei's house?" asked Haru. "We could call a taxi but…that would cause trouble if Yuki transformed. I've heard his attacks get worse when he's in rat form."

"I'll help," Tohru said. "I'll do anything!"

I wanted to say 'me too,' but the words wouldn't come. What help could I give? I had done this. I was to blame. I just sat there, next to Yuki, tears running down my face.

I watched as Haru embraced Tohru and turned into a cow. I helped get them to Shigure's house, then I sat out on the back porch.

Haru came out after a bit. "He's awake. Don't you want to see him?"

"It's…my fault," I said. "I can't face him."

"Where is Miss Bayer?" I asked Haru.

"She won't come inside," Haru replied. "You know…she was really worried. Maybe more than Tohru. She couldn't stop crying. And she convinced herself that it's her fault you had an attack."

"No," I replied. "No…I should have stayed home. But I did tell her…I told her I was coming for her first day. Maybe that's why…"

"I don't know," Haru said.

I started to get out of bed, but Haru pushed me back. "I'll get her."

I was sitting with my knees clutched to my chest.

"He wants to see you," Haru said.

"I have a black side too, you know," I said, twisting and untwisting a strand of blonde hair. "Kind of like you. I haven't snapped the way I did back there in a long time. I thought I was going to end up hitting you. But…Yuki just stopped me. No one's ever been able to do that before."

"If you love him, you should tell him," Haru said bluntly.

"Hatsuharu," I said. "If I said anything of the sort I would lose him. He…rejects fangirls everyday. I would just be another one of them."

"Well then…don't tell him," Haru said. "But say something."

"I couldn't…do anything for him," I said. "He doesn't need me. As long as Tohru's around, he'll be fine. Not that I don't like her myself…but it was stupid of me to think that I…could be of any use."

"I don't think that's true," Haru replied. "You never asked Yuki what he wanted. Wasn't he the one who asked you to stay here? And…he asked for you right now, didn't he?"

"I guess so," I said. I stood, following Haru back to Yuki's room.

Haru left us.

"Miss Bayer!" he sat up.

"Hallo," I said softly. "You know you should really lay back down. You're still sick."

Without a word, I put one hand on his chest and one on the back of his head, laying him back down.

"Why…were you avoiding me?" he asked. "Did I offend you, Miss Bayer?"

There was a silence. I continued to twist and untwist my hair.

"I was worried," I said finally. "I felt so stupid, and useless…and then Tohru stepped in like she always does…and I was angry for a while. And I felt bad for feeling angry at such a wonderful person. And before I knew it…I was just depressed. Because I couldn't help you at all."

"But you did," Yuki said. "Just by being there."

I blushed slightly.

"Where did you learn to do all this medical stuff?" Yuki asked.

"My mutti is a nurse," I replied. "I learn…by watching."

"I brought ice!" Tohru said, coming in.

Haru looked at me as if he knew something I didn't.


	8. Valentine's Day

What's this?" asked Hana. "There's only one."

"That's insane…" Uo said. "I thought with Prince Charming's locker we'd get to see it."

"Wait…Prince Charming?" I said. "Who—"

"It's what the fan club girls call Yuki," Uo said. "Yuki has his own scary fan club."

"What are you looking for?" Yuki asked.

"It happens all the time in manga," Uo said. "Chocolates pour out, all like 'dosa-dosa!'"

"Like what?" I said, lost in translation.

"I think I understand," Hana said. "This must be like what happens with a cuckoo's chick. Just the cuckoo chick kicks the shrike's egg out of the nest, the Yuki fan throws out the chocolate that was there before so that her chocolate will stand out. The proof is in that waste basket."

Tohru looked surprised because it was full of chocolate. "They've been thrown away!"

"Girls can be so cruel," Hana said. "And I am the hawk that targets the remaining chocolate."

"Eat it! Eat it, why don't you?" Uo said, excited.

Kyo walked past, punching the locker in front of Yuki.

"Hey!" I said. "That was—"

Yuki grabbed my arm. "Calm down. It's okay."

"He's not even hiding the fact that he hates you," Uo said.

"Really…he's giving off unusually naïve waves," Hana said softly.

"Naïve? What is that? Is he like depressed?" Tohru asked.

"He's in chaos," replied Hana. "Well, it's none of my business. As long as he doesn't cause any problems for Tohru."

"That's true," Uo said.

"I agree," I smiled. "But still…Kyo…"

"Don't worry about him, Miss Bayer," Yuki said.

I sighed. "I don't, really, or I'd go crazy. If you ask me, Kyo's always in chaos."

"But…speaking of different," Uo said, looking over at the crazy girls. "There's something creepy about their eyes. Girls are really scary this time of year. They look like they'd rush you from a street corner."

"Kyon! Here! This chocolate is for you!" a girl handed Kyo chocolate.

I laughed. "Let's see what he does."

Kyo stood. "Is today Valentine's Day?"

"No, it's tomorrow," replied a classmate.

"I'm going home," said Kyo. "No, I can't, it's dangerous there too. A journey…I'll take a nice long journey! I need to disappear for a while."

"It's Kagura…" I muttered. Yuki looked at me.

"She'll get him anyway," Yuki said.

Sure enough, she was waiting for us on the way home, and she chased Kyo all the way home.

"It's Valentine's," Kagura said. "It's an important day for lovers!"

"What? Lovers?" yelled Kyo.

"Kyo, don't be rude," Shigure said.

I sighed. I had a headache already. I massaged my forehead. Yuki put a hand on my shoulder.

"Are you okay, Miss Bayer?" he asked.

"No…I have a headache," I said. "I wish it was quieter here."

"Me too," he smiled.

"We'll invite Yuki and Kerstin and make it a double date!" Kagura said.

Yuki looked shocked and so was I.

"Oh that sounds so wonderful!" exclaimed Tohru. "I have work every day this week, so have fun for me, okay!"

I hugged her. "Tohru, you're so sweet. But I couldn't possibly make Yuki suffer through an evening with me. And it's probably not even allowed."

"I don't think it would be suffering," Yuki said. "I…would like it."

"Ha…I…um…" I stammered, blushing. "Fine, okay."

Kyo left then. Shigure had made some lousy comment to him. Tohru chased after him.

The next day I was on my way to my double date. I looked at Yuki. He hadn't said a word.

"Um…lovely day, isn't it," I said.

"Will you stop it?" Kyo snapped.

"Shut up, you stupid Cat," Yuki said. "You aren't going to ruin this for us."

"Since when is there an 'us,' damn Rat?" replied Kyo with venom.

"Kyo!" Kagura appeared, hugging Kyo from behind. "I was so excited about today, I couldn't sleep!"

"Oh," Kyo said. "You must be tired. Go home and take a nap."

Kyo and Kagura walked ahead of us, wanting to get good seats for the movie.

"Um…Yuki?" I said.

"Yes, Miss Bayer?" Yuki asked.

"I—" just then I slipped and ran into him. There was a poof, and he transformed. Kagura and Kyo turned around.

"Damn rat," Kyo said. "Can't you even walk?"

"Shut up, Kyo," I said. "I'm the clumsy idiot who ran into him. I-I'm sorry, Yuki."

I picked up his clothes. "Um…do you want me to carry you?"

I held out my hands, and Yuki stepped into them. "It's not your fault, Miss Bayer. Were you saying something? Before you slipped?"

"I-I…" I sighed, and set him down next to me on a park bench.

"Kerstin? Do you want us to wait?" Kagura asked.

"Um…no, just go on ahead," I replied, staring at my hands. "I-I need a moment."

They turned and started walking. There was a poof as Yuki changed back. He grabbed his clothes from where they were sitting in my lap.

He put his clothes on, and then turned to me. "Miss Bayer? Did I say something wrong?"

"It's not you…" I stood up, fists clenched at my sides. "I-I'm so stupid!"

Yuki got up, looking equally upset. "Miss Bayer, you're not-"

"Yes I am!" I said, staring at my feet. "I thought if I waited until the time was right, I could…but it never came, and by then Tohru had already given you her chocolate, and now I just feel like an idiot. Here."

I held the chocolate out to him, cheeks flaming with embarrassment. He took it.

"Miss Bayer," he said, sitting down. "There are…lots of things that make me feel…afraid, or even stupid. The fact that you…got so worked up over something like this…makes me feel very special."

He tilted his head upward, looked at me, and smiled. I blushed.

After that it wasn't so hard. Watching the movie together, talking to Kagura, even arguing with Kyo and watching Kyo and Yuki argue—it was all easy, compared to that.


	9. White Day

"All right, that's enough," Sensei Mayuko said. "Pencils down, everyone."

"No one uses pencils anymore!" said someone in the front row.

"Shut up, you lose ten points," replied the teacher. "Pass your papers to the front. And don't think of running out yet; you still have homeroom."

Tohru stretched and sighed.

"Aw, Tohru, you're so cute," I said. "How did it go?"

"Yes, Miss Honda," Yuki said. "How did it go?"

"It went really well," replied Tohru. "I was able to answer a lot more questions than usual!"

"Really?" Uo exclaimed.

Hana and Uo were at Tohru's side immediately.

"So you did well, huh?" Uo said. "That's really good!"

"Tohru, if you just try, you'll get by fine," said Hana.

"How did you do, Miss Bayer?" Yuki asked me.

"I…" I looked down. "I'm fine. Don't worry."

"What is it?" Yuki asked. "There are still make up tests, and—"

"No…" I whispered, lowering my tone so only he could hear. "Maybe I'll tell you later."

"It's all thanks to Yuki that I did good," Tohru said.

"You give me too much credit," Yuki said, smiling.

The fanclub girls all looked freaked out, but none of them said a word.

A conversation began about Hana and Kyo's grades, and Tohru was called out by the teacher.

Ring!

"Hallo?" I answered. I had a standard-issue cell phone from the Main House.

"Hello, Kerstin?" Kureno responded. "Hatori would be making this call but he is tending to Akito at the moment."

"I understand," I replied, starting to bite my nails. "Does Akito need to see me now?"

"Akito? Miss Bayer—" Yuki looked alarmed.

"Yuki, I have to deal with this," I said. "Kureno, how long until he decides to come get me himself?"

There was a pause and a crash. "You'd better come right away, madchen."

"Okay," I sighed and hung up.

Tohru came back over and distracted the boys with her talk of a part time job. I took the opportunity to sneak over to the teacher.

"Sensei, I have a…family emergency," I said. "I have to get home immediately. I'd prefer if you told my classmates I got sick."

"Alright, Kerstin, but be careful getting home," the teacher said.

"I have a ride," I replied.

"Akito has been waiting," Kureno said. "Why did it take you so long?"

"I had to get away from the other Sohmas without telling them what happened," I replied

"Kerstin," Akito said to me, grabbing my arm and throwing me into the room. "What did I tell you? This is wrong, all of it. You can't just live off my family without paying for it, you little bitch!"

Akito slammed me against the wall and smacked me repeatedly. "I'm going to scar you so they won't even look at you anymore."

He took out a pocket-knife. "Remember, if you try to stop me, if you scream even once, I'll throw you out. You won't get college, and you won't ever see your cousin Momiji again. And if you scream…I'll hurt him too."

I closed my eyes. No one was coming. No one would come. Ever. This was my own personal hell that I had created.

The knife slashed my face three or four times, and then Akito stopped. "Now get out of my sight, you hideous girl."

I was taken to Hatori's.

"What did you do to make him so angry?" Hatori asked.

"The test…I couldn't make high marks," I said. "Who cares about me, as long as he leaves Momiji out of it."

"Kerstin!" Momiji ran up to me, kneeling to my level. "Your face! Ha'ri, isn't there anything you can do?"

"They'll heal in a few weeks," Hatori replied.

"M-Miss Bayer," Yuki was suddenly in the doorway. "Why did you do that? We were all so worried! What if something worse had happened?"

"I'm fine," I said. "And I'm sorry. Things…got out of hand. It's just a few scratches. How did you find out?"

"Hatsuharu came and got me," Yuki said. "He said you got beat up really bad. And Hatori told him that a few of your ribs are shattered."

"Yuki, there's nothing y-you could've…" I shuddered. "Stop blaming yourself."

Yuki looked at Hatori. "Why didn't anyone do anything?"

"We didn't know until it was too late," Hatori said.

Yuki turned, staring at the wall. "Hatori...will she scar?"

"She'll be fine," Hatori said. "She needs you now. She has no one. I know your first instinct is to run...but..."

"Why would I leave her now?" Yuki asked sharply. "I should have done something in the first place."

Hatori left the room.

"Why do you do this?" I asked. "Why do you look so worried? What makes you bother with something like me?"

Yuki knelt down, touching my burning face. "Miss Bayer. Whatever Akito told you is a lie. You are beautiful. Don't…talk about yourself that way."

I blushed. "Y-You can't…talk that way. Akito will hurt you. And I couldn't stand that."

"Kerstin!" Momiji bounced into the room.

Good thing too, because one more second and I might have kissed Yuki. And that would've been really bad news.

"Hatori says you should go to the Hot Spring with us for White Day!" Momiji said. "He said it would be good on your injuries. Are you going to come?"

I nodded. "That sounds fun, Momitchi!"

"I'm coming too," Yuki said.

"Yay! It'll be everyone!" Momiji said.

"Wow!" Tohru said, clasping her hands together in excitement. "This inn is really pretty!"

"The inside is pretty as well!" Momiji said.

Yuki helped me out of the bus. I was on crutches. I refused the wheelchair.

"You need help?" Yuki asked.

"No," I replied. "I feel stupid."

"You're not," Yuki said.

"I will pick you up tomorrow," said the bus driver, smiling.

"Yep!" exclaimed Momiji.

Tohru and Momiji were being silly, and I was just in pain.

Suddenly the mistress of the onsen showed up. "Welcome."

She went into a ramble about a welcome to her onsen.

"She's from the Sohma family as well," Momiji said. "But her health has always been poor, so she lives here to get more rest."

"I see," Tohru said.

"Sorry for frightening you," the mistress said.

My head was spinning. "Y-Yuki…hey…I think I…"

I passed out.

I woke up lying in bed with a hot towel on my forehead.

"Kerstin, are you okay?" Tohru asked. "You just fell down!"

"Such a ditz," Kyo said.

Yuki knocked him over with one hand. "Stupid cat. Miss Bayer, how are you feeling?"

"Awful…sick…stupid…" I replied. "When can I get into the hot spring?"

"Right away," the mistress said. "If everyone would leave, Kerstin and Tohru can come with me immediately."

After bathing in the hot springs, I went inside to find Kyo and Yuki fighting over ping pong.

I started laughing at Kyo's intensity and Yuki's passivity. I put a hand to my side, because it was hurting my fractured ribs, but I didn't care.

Tohru started to play and was so intense about it that I thought my rib would puncture the skin from my laughter. Yuki left.

Tohru followed him. I watched them from the door. They were obviously having a moment.

She…had made him laugh. I went to my room.

No one followed me. I went from laughter to crying in one moment.

Late into the night there was a knock on my door.

I opened it. "What?"

"Miss Bayer," Yuki said. "This is for you."

He handed me a box. Inside was a white flower made of glass.

"Ah…I-I can't accept this," I said, blushing and clutching it tightly.

"But you have, Miss Bayer," he replied. "It took me a long time to find something pretty enough."

He leaned forward and kissed my cheek.

"Yuki…I-I…" I said softly. I backed up. "Goodnight Yuki."


End file.
